Terrible Tuesday

Ever since the day J and I called it quits, visitation has been very difficult on Zach. I'm pretty sure that Zach loves and cares about his dad, but I know that he would much rather stay at HIS home with his mom. Zach and I have an incredibly close bond. From the day this little guy was born, I was pretty much the primary caregiver for him. I'm the one who woke up during the night to feed him, change him, and rock him back to sleep. For the first 3 months it was very difficult for me to take care of him during the night because of my c-section. Completely losing the use of your stomach muscles makes it very difficult to take care of a baby. But I couldn't ignore him during the night because I hurt. J never woke up to take care of him during the night because in his mind, it was a woman's job. So because it was so painful for me to climb out of bed and get a newborn baby out of his crib, Zachary slept on my chest for the first 3 months of his life. Some people may frown on this, but I feel that this helped Zach and I create the incredibly close bond that we have. Whenever Zach cried, I comforted him, fed him, played with him, or changed him. Zach could always count on me to be there for him. We are best buds after all. So I feel that it makes sense to why Zach would rather be at HIS home than anywhere else.

Because I have Zach on a consistant schedule, he knows when it's almost time to go to his dad's. So he starts to act up. More defiant than usual, hits more, and talks back more. He's also a bit more clingy and whinny usual and he gets frustrated more easily. Because of this, I expected the school days around his father's visitation to be a bit difficult for him and his teachers. Boy was I right. Tuesday have seem to be   a bad day for him. For the past 3 weeks his behavior has been pretty bad. His principal has called me saying that he's been hitting other kids in his class and calling them mean names. (These are names to the degree of a 5 year old.) I've told both Zach's teacher and principal about his behavior when it's time for his father's visitation. Zach and I are really lucky to have such a wonderful teacher and principal who is very willing to work with him during this transition. Since this has been a constant thing for 3 weeks now, I'm convinced that Zach's behavior at school has something to do with visitation.

I feel so bad for Zach. I ask him what's wrong and he starts crying. He feels really bad about his actions and apologizes for it, but he says that he's mad and angry because he wants to go to HIS home. As much as I want to tell him "Okay, mommy will pick you up after school instead", I can't. The courts have complete control over visitation. I want to help my boy feel better but it's beyond my control. I give him big hugs and smother him with kiss and tell him constantly that I love him in hopes of making him feel better however, it's only a temporary fix.

I'm looking for ways to help Zach with his anger and bad behavior at school. He loves school, playing with his friends, and learning. But these issues are holding him back from doing well in school.