Suspension

Zachary got suspended from school today because yesterday he hit a kid and gave him a black eye. I was told this was during lunch recess, however I was serving yard duty during that time watching Zachary's class and no incident was reported to me, nor did a child come to me with an injury. I had no clue about this so I was caught completely off guard. I agreed to the suspension, walked to Zach's class and picked him up. His teacher asked me if I knew what happened yesterday and I told her I have no clue. She apologized, gave Zach a big hug and apologized to him, and told him to have fun with his mom. I don't think the teacher or principal wanted to suspend Zach, but unfortunately school policy says if one child injures another child, he/she will be suspended for one day. Personally, I don't really understand the form of punishment in suspensions, especially for a Kindergardener. I remember back in the day when I was to stay home and serve a suspension, I really enjoyed it. I slept in, watched TV all day, played video games, ect. I remember once my mother even took me to Disneyland on a day I was serving an at home suspension. Where is the punishment here? And I really don't see how Zachary will understand that him not having to go to school is punishment for hitting another kid. We stayed home, watched "The Avengers" twice, washed my car, and drew fun pictures of ourselves. We had fun lounging around and relaxing. Here's Zachary's self-portrait.



I told Zachary when he is ready to talk about what happened to tell me, and we will go sit underneath his bed and talk. He finally came up to me around noon and said "I am ready to talk". So I walked with him back to the room and we sat underneath his bed. He told me that he hit the boy in the face because he was being mean to him and trying to take his glasses. Now that I know Zach's side of the story I can somewhat understand why Zach got mad. I always get on Zachary to take care of his glasses and to protect them. So when I see him acting out and attempting to break his glasses, I do get upset with him. I take them from him and make him sit in time out without them. Zach's vision is dreadful, so being without his glasses seems like an acceptable punishment to me. I told Zachary that if ever anyone tried to take his glasses from him to immediately run and tell an adult. I let him know that no matter what, it is NOT okay to hit someone. He said that after he hit the boy he apologized. Obviously, he realized that his actions were wrong since he willingly apologized to the boy. After Zach told me his side of the story, I told him that I am not mad at him but he needs to try harder at keeping his hands to himself. I also gave him a big hug and a "special kiss" and told him that no matter what he does, good or bad, I love him with all my "hearts". (Special kisses are kisses on the forehead. I have been doing this to him since he was born. I also put quotes on hearts because he never uses the word in a singular way. Too much "Doctor Who" maybe.)

I think it's interesting how Zachary acts the same exact way his father acts when he's angry. I call him "The Hulk" more to describe the way J blows up in anger, but I feel I'm insulting "The Hulk" when I do because I'm a huge nerd and I think he's pretty cool and I'm pretty sure J can put the real Hulk to shame. But when Zach get's angry, it's a complete mirror of his father. He starts screaming and yelling, he clenches his fists or does this really annoying thing with his hands that's hard to describe, and he kicks and hits objects or people. For J to say it's not something Zachary learned while on visitation at his house, in my mind is complete crap. Zach hit's in anger when he feels like someone is doing something wrong or being mean. When J felt like Zachary was doing something wrong (touching stuff he's not supposed to) or being mean (hitting others) J would spank/hit/flick Zachary to teach him that hitting, along with many other things, is wrong. Fighting fire with fire. And this man says Zachary doesn't learn these things from him. I just feel that he knows he can get away with this crap. He even openly admitted in court that he physically harms Zachary as a form of punishment. The courts did nothing to stop him but instead gave him an extra day and night for visitation. One day, Zachary came home saying his dad spanked him because he had an accident in his pants. He also said that his dad "flicked his face" because he wasn't looking at his dad while he was talking. I called CPS. A social worker came out and asked Zachary about the incident. Then the lady said that Zach's father can do whatever he wants to him when it comes to punishment, even if it is physical, just as long as it doesn't leave a mark or put Zachary in the hospital. I cried when the lady told me this. How is this right? If J were to hit a dog and it was reported, a full scale investigation would be launched and J would be serving jail time as well as a fine. This world is so majorly screwed up that a man can harm a child and get away with it, but can do the same exact thing to an animal and face jail time. Disgusting! I feel that J knows he can get away with this crap, and that's why it continues on today.

I haven't told Zach's dad yet because I am afraid for Zach. I know that when Zachary goes over for visitation, something will happen to him. I really pray that no harm comes to my boy. The other day when Zach got in trouble and sent home early from school, his father made him clean EVERY SINGLE baseboard in the house and also mop up the kitchen floor. This angered me because for one, how is this a good form of punishment for this child? It makes zero sense to me. Second, that house is a dump. Please do not make my son clean your mother's filthy house. According to you and your father's ancient man ways of thinking, that's her job. J's parent's did this punishments on them and obviously it didn't work. Stupid things like running a mile when they talk back or don't listen or cleaning the baseboards. I just don't see any good value in this punishment.

This post is pretty depressing, but Zach and I had a great day today. Man, if I knew yesterday that Zach would be suspended from school today I would have arranged a trip to Disneyland.